"What a pain in the ass chicks are with this stuff about dieting!" exclaims Adam and throws with all his might the apple that Eve has just given to him.
The fruit flies through the centuries and hits squarely on the head of Isaac Newton.
He analyzes the gravity of the situation and files a complaint at the Vatican.
"Ah, no. Claims related to Old Testament episodes are the jurisdiction of Judaism" alliterates the Pope. "We assume responsability from Jesus on, and that only if we are in a good mood".
Newton unsuccessfully visits several synagogues. In Prague he is pursued by an army of golems. He flees to Pisa, where he meets Galileo throwing things from the leaning tower.
"I’m fed to the gills with these guys" Newton says.
"What if we fuck up the religious corporations’ business, uh?"
"Cool. I’ll tell Darwin, Einstein and Freud and you go and fetch Copernicus, Kepler and Marx, okay?"
"And who’s gonna tell Nietzsche?"
"Nah, don’t bother, he'll appear anyway ..."
And that's how Modernity began.
More or less.
Orignal title: Una fábula uanacrónica